If you haven’t heard the news, get on Facebook or watch this video:
…we’re expecting a baby to come this fall!
Other than the little video we made for friends and family out of town, we haven’t yammered on and on about pregnancy, baby stuff, etc. (at least I don’t think we have!). That’s not due to lack of excitement, but there is some tension I feel about public expressions of that excitement for a number of reasons.
One of the reasons is that this is all kind of terrifying. As much as doctors can rattle off the small odds of something happening, I know something could happen. It doesn’t take a pediatric chaplaincy internship to know the potential risks children bring with them. One of my good friends told me (in a nice, friendly, and humorous way) to “get used to it, it doesn’t go away after the baby’s delivered, it just gets worse.”
I think he’s right. I think it’s bad now when the baby’s inside and protected – but just think of how bad it’ll be when there’s not a uterus cushioning everything that happens!
If Krissy rolls over or blows her nose in the middle of the night, she says I sleep-ask“Are you okay?” Five months from now and I’ll probably start sleep-walking her to the hospital.
Anything that seems abnormal gets me on edge. A weird feeling. New discomfort. Changed eating habits. Getting up in the middle of the night. Being cold. Being hot. Being hot and then cold and then hot again. Gaining weight. Not gaining weight. And I assume the worst.
Then we talk to the doctors and they assure us that everything is abnormal because there’s a person growing inside of my wife. And that’s supposed to make me feel better!
All that to say, this is a season where my trust is being tested. Trust that bodies are designed for this. Trust that we’re prepared (as much as we can be!) for this. Trust that God, throughout history, has walked alongside people in the midst of all of this. Trust that perfect love, by nature, can and does actually cast out fear. Even the fear that comes with parenting.
So, there it is. A new season of life is here with another new season approaching.
On the docket…A Baby on the Way: Fertility’s No Guarantee (Part 2)