Life is good. Hospital work is heavy and draining, but in many ways it has also been (and continues to be) a formative experience. I’ve find myself several times getting rather angry and frustrated – at our/my inability to fix problems…at a world where such tremendous pain and agony exists…and, honestly, at God. Sometimes this anger is expressed on journal pages and sometimes it’s expressed verbally on my walk home down Sunset Boulevard (that’s the nice thing about Los Angeles – no one looks twice when someone is talking to themselves on the sidewalk, even if they are yelling).
But it is good, engaging in the process of handling and expressing anger freely and honestly. For me, expressing it through some medium is my own personal recognition that I don’t have answers and I can’t solve everything. And, I’ve found that once it is expressed, pain and anger’s sting, while still very real, is much less biting and much less sharp. And when I’m not being jabbed by my own emotions, there is much more room to accept and allow healing, from God and from others.