We are going on vacation and will be gone for two weeks. I was going to write a whole bunch of posts and have them show up magically each day I’m gone, but life happened and I didn’t have the chance to write any of those posts.
Last night and this morning have, thus far, been filled with my normal worries and stresses. I worry about getting to the airport on time. I worry about forgetting really important things at home. I worry about our flights being cancelled or our arrangements (rental car, lodging, etc.) falling through. I worry about telling the rental car agency that “no, I don’t want your insurance” and then having them tell me for the fourth time that I really need it. And today, I worried about our camping equipment (particularly our stove and fuel bottle) not making it through security, despite the time I spent checking regulations and the time Krissy spent cleaning (and re-cleaning) the equipment.
It all should be fine – and it all will be fine (even if we have to throw away our stove) – but there is a part of me that has difficulty letting go. I have a hard time getting over the worries about forgetting things, things not going as planned, etc. What’s weird is that I think it has less to do with me being concerned that we have a “perfect vacation” and more to do with my own feelings of worth and value. I find it easy to beat up on myself a bit if I forget something (which I always do) or if something doesn’t go as planned, I act as if it is my fault and most definitely due to my incompetence and other flaws in my character. I am not like this in all areas of life, but I am always like this when it comes to traveling. I don’t know where it stems from; it is just something that is there.
But, I am lucky that my wife is an over the top amazing encouragement for me (as well as a great planner, preparer, and packer). Her preparation helps me to be better prepared, and that should anything happen, the two of us can navigate most situations together.
Life feels like a big balancing act sometimes, and in this area, she balances me out well. I am thankful for that, and thankful for vacation. The last time we spent time away together for most than two nights was three years ago in Door County. A lot has happened in three years, and I’m excited that we get to spend our third anniversary together on an amazing adventure exploring a beautiful part of the world.