Ramblings, Relational

Just when things can’t get any worse…

…They get better.

Sometimes I am just amazed at how things work out.  Say there is Difficult Situation X.  Difficult Situation X (DSX) involves both myself, and several other important people in my life.  I begin thinking about DSX several months ago, and as time passed, I started to think about it even more and worry about it.  I tried to make several attempts to come up with and offer a solution for DSX and some of the others involved were not happy with the potential solution.  None of the proposals that were raised could possible satisfy all parties involved, and it looked like the solution would have to come at the expense of someone else’s comfort and wishes.   

And today it all came to a head.  A decision had to be made, and it was mine to make.  Nothing had changed with any of the involved parties, and time was running out.  So I, being me, continue to fumble around with ideas to try and please everyone (this is when I despise my Strengthsfinder strength of Empathy) and end up getting to a point where I can hardly even think about anything else, dreading the reality that I would have to make a decision that would probably upset someone quite a bit.  I felt like I was having a breakdown – the world was spinning too fast, there were too many noises all around, too much going on, too much to do, not enough time.  All this hinging on this one decision. 

And finally, I realized that I couldn’t wait any longer, and with some gentle prodding and amazing support, came up with the solution that felt best to me, trying to take into account everyone’s feelings balanced in some quasi-egalitarian equation that would probably end up making everyone a little frustrated and no one really happy. 

But I just couldn’t take it anymore.

So I made the decision, and then got on the phone. 

After the first call, I was amazed.  I had spent months dreading this decision, and had faced so much resistance from some of my suggestions, but this conversation was just…easy.  I explained my decision, and a bit of my mental state and how difficult it had been to figure it all out…and on the other end of the phone line I heard “David, that sounds great.  That will be just fine.” 

I think my jaw hit the ground at that point.  One down, one to go. 

But the second conversation was as easy as the first.  Two for two.

I really don’t understand it.  I don’t think I was overanalyzing the situation to an unreasonable extent.  I didn’t come up with a “perfect solution.”  It just shouldn’t have made everyone as happy as it did.  I went into those conversations with so much built up frustration, fear, and anxiety…and came out feeling peace.  Which was the last thing I expected.  Sometimes I forget that God works in mysterious ways…or that sometimes His way is the one that is least expected…or that He can show up when a situation seems most insane and tense. 

And just when it can’t get any worse…when I was at my wit’s end, ready to breakdown and just throw my hands up in the air…things get better. 

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